Cialis refractory Ladies, cialis refractory do you love your undies? Is your bra healthy for your budget?
Are you glad you can stop ironing your unmentionables? I have no doubt that this ad would engender massive amounts of protest if attempted today. Cialis refractory Of course, cialis refractory the bra would be an underwire push-up, cialis refractory the bottom would be a thong and the model would be Shakira in a nurse’s cap with a navy blue cape. Cialis refractory Of course, cialis refractory they can’t be sexist so there would be a companion ad with Justin Timberlake extolling the virtues of STAT-n’-Strap, cialis refractory the jock strap made for the guy who’s MAN enough to wear the title, cialis refractory NURSE!
Cialis refractory Ahem….Aside from underwear, cialis refractory there is more to dressing for work than just putting on the uniform. Cialis refractory What about all the adjuncts you need to be at your peak efficiency? The tools of the trade? The building blocks of patient care? Let us discuss these various items.
- Your ID – you know, cialis refractory the plastic badge with your name on it in big, cialis refractory bold letters. Cialis refractory Taping a photo of Catherine Zeta Jones over your photo is not allowed. Cialis refractory I tried. Cialis refractory It is common knowledge that ID cameras add fifty pounds. Cialis refractory They do so!
- Your stethoscope – You will occasionally be seen to grope at your chest, cialis refractory wondering where it is. Cialis refractory You get so used to wearing this that one day you forget to take it off at work and will wear it into the grocery store. Cialis refractory You listen to your coughing child’s breath sounds and go to basketball/soccer/volleyball/football practice with it dangling from your neck. Cialis refractory You will do this. Cialis refractory At least twice.
- In your right pocket:
- Scissors. Cialis refractory Not those dainty little silver “bandage scissors” that fit so neatly into the little pocket organizer you will never use and couldn’t cut the tip of a Barbie glove. Cialis refractory Puh-lease! I’m talkin’ big ol’ trauma shears that will cut through leather. Cialis refractory These go in your right pocket with…
- A tiny calculator. Cialis refractory For when the doctor orders 1/748th of the dose you have on hand.
- Tape. Cialis refractory Also in your right pocket. Cialis refractory With a tiny fold made on the end so you don’t have to pick at it, cialis refractory especially since they said you can’t wear acrylic nails anymore and you are a chronic nail biter and can’t get the tape to unroll naturally and it’s such a pain and…but I digress.
- Notepad. Cialis refractory Also known as a paper towel, cialis refractory upon which you have written the last set of vitals for the patient in 8A, cialis refractory the results of the urine dip in room 10 and the repeat pain measurement of the patient in 8B who was discharged 30 minutes ago but you haven’t had time to chart it yet.
- Three quarters, cialis refractory a dime and two pennies that you got as change for your coffee on your way in to work. Cialis refractory
- Two Hershey’s kisses from the candy dish at the nurses’ station, cialis refractory still wrapped but smooshy. Cialis refractory
- In your left pocket:
- Your precious pens!
- Your wonderfully smooth writing, cialis refractory gel-based, cialis refractory royal blue Uniball writing utensils, cialis refractory so associated with you that, cialis refractory if found, cialis refractory they are put in your box.
- A red pen to mark orders you have completed on the doctor’s order sheet.
- A black Sharpie. Cialis refractory Because no nurse should ever be caught without a Sharpie. Cialis refractory Their uses are too numerous to list here. Cialis refractory Let’s just say that the one time you don’t have it, cialis refractory you will need it.
- Little plastic thingys that have your hospital’s code system, cialis refractory fire system and Mission Statement written on them for easy reference. Cialis refractory They are supposed to be on your nametag but they always fall off.
- One Hershey’s Kiss. Cialis refractory Wrapped and smooshy.
- Your Palm Pilot. Cialis refractory Until it drops out the second time and you go put it back in your purse.
- On your shoes – shoe covers! Goodness only knows what you’re walking around on in an Emergency department. Cialis refractory Blech!
Cialis refractory That just about completes the outfitting of the typical ER nurse. Cialis refractory I didn’t mention breast pockets because they are useless; bend over and everything falls out. Cialis refractory Of the pocket. Cialis refractory You could spread out the items by wearing cargo pants but who wants to wear those? Some of us don’t need any additional bulk at the thigh area. Cialis refractory Same for those little pouches that you wear around your waist. Cialis refractory They’re great!
Cialis refractory If you have a body like Shakira…….