April 20, 2006, 6:05 pm
My goodness, that’s a lot of urine!
Where does it all go?
Do we need to open a Center For Missing and Exploited Urine?
Why haven’t we seen urine on our milk cartons?
That is an awful lot of urine that is escaping.
No laughing, you guys!
You don’t know what it’s like to experience a sudden sneeze and lose precious body fluids in the process.
It’s tramatic, I tell you, tramatic!
Not that I have ever experienced it or anything….
Okay, so now some information on the new “look” of Emergiblog. Although I would love to take credit for how the new site looks, it was put together for me by a professional web designer by the name of Shane Pike, who took all my requests and turned them into what you see before you.
Wha??? You thought I was hiding my secret, professional html skills behind my old blogger template all this time?
In my dreams.
If you look very closely at the very bottom of the site, you will see a link for “Three:Twenty Interactive.” That is Shane’s site.
I “met” Shane when I was asked to be a contributor via syndication to nursingvoices.com and act in an advisory capacity. He is not a nurse and when working on nursing websites, would occasionally need some feedback from actual nurses.
Sounds impressive, but my advice consists of giving my opinion, and I am always willing to do that! And I was “syndicated”, so open to new readers.
Happy camper all around.
Except I hated Blogger. And made a few references to the same on my old site.
Shane, who has also revamped Nursing Jobs.org mentioned that he could give me a new, professional site that would not only increase traffic (which is my main interest) but also be an income generating site.
Now, you know how I hated the look of ads on my last site. Took them down after making about seventy cents as an amazon.com associate and decided to go ad-less.
Well, Shane’s expertise is integrating advertisements into the site so that they do not hit you in the face like a cream pie.
So, here I had the possibility of a new, professional site done to my specifications, that might also perhaps generate some income, with ads that aren’t ugly.
I said “Honey, where have you been all my life?”
No, I didnt’ really say that, but I went for the offer and you see the fruits of it right here.
Now, to answer a few questions that may be popping into your head AND in the interest of full disclosure:
- emergiblog.com is owned by me. I registered and pay for it through enom.com.
- I have full editorial control over everything that is or is not put on the site.
- That includes the advertisements.
- We are working out the bugs at this time.
- I guess earlier today an ad for a Snoop Dog poster showed up in the google ads!
- Now nothing against Snoop Dog, but there are more appropriate places for his ads!
- I did note that my last post generated an ad for Australian cheese (the ad is now gone).
- I plan to keep all ads medical/nursing related.
- Emergiblog will remain 99.9% politics-free, although I do reserve my right to go balistic on Comedy Central, prn!
- Should I decide at any time that this arrangement is not working for me and I choose to go back “on my own” so to speak, this site goes with me.
- I am in no way indebted, obliged, connected with any drug companies, medical equipment suppliers, or publishers (not even to Shane!).
- The comments and opinions contained in Emergiblog remain my own.
- This remains true even if advertisements for any related company are placed on the blog.
Now, since Shane’s specialty is turning websites into traffic-generating and income-generating sites, his renumeration for all this work and time comes after the blog begins to generate income.
It’s also for a “trial run” at something bigger to be announced at the right time!
So, it’s a win-win for me. I have a new, pemanent site that goes where I go and I might get an actual income from blogging!
Maybe that will make my husband stop griping that I don’t get paid for “that part-time blogging job you do”!
April 19, 2006, 6:30 pm
Now this is priceless.
The ad says if marital love cools, she should not blame her husband, but take a look at herself.
This woman is “locked out” by her husband….because she doesn’t douche with Lysol!!!
People, I use Lysol to clean my bathroom.
I know what it does to soap scum, I’d hate to think what it does to mucous membranes.
I guess her reluctance to kill every “germ” residing “down there” has killed her chances for “happily married love”.
I guess it is her responsibility to keep her “dainty feminine allure” so that her husband doesn’t padlock the door of his emotional accesability.
Does that mean if you aren’t married, you don’t have to use the Lysol?
Oh wait, how silly of me.
No one had premarital sex back then.
Oh, and by the way, there are no greasy after effects.
Just thought you’d want to know.
Hey, wait a minute….
I must have been immaculately conceived or I was born a premie three months early weighing seven pounds, nine ounces.
What is the most important thing to a bustling, hellacious, active, crazy ER?
What keeps the staff moving, the morale high, the energy flowing?
Lots of food.
I’m not talking about the tiny little Tupperware container containing last night’s leftovers that you carry in your little brown sack to the staff lounge.
I’m talking FOOD.
The type of food that you can run in and grab (after washing your hands, of course), stand for one minute (by the clock), chew, swallow and then rush back out to resume care of your patient.
Here is an example of a morale-boosting table of food. Please note the ease of consumption and the rapidity with which it can be consumed:
- Baguettes. Lots of Baguettes. Preferably sliced into approximately 3/8 inch slices.
- Spreads. Hummus, cream cheese, pimento cheese spread, garlic spread (preferably Allouette), spreads with jalapeno (for the more adventurous gastrointestinal tracts) and brucheta-type spreads.
- Not just a big hunk of generic cheddar, although beggars cannot be choosy.
- Brie, swiss, monterey jack, pepper jack, mild cheddar, provolone.
- Preferably already sliced into baguette-sized rectangles (except the Brie).
- Potato, tortilla,vege (if you must).
- Ranch, Regular, Sour Cream and Onion, Barbeque, Salt and Vinegar (for those of us who indulge our British heritage – it’s as close as I get to fish and chips, unfortunately).
- Nacho, Super Nacho, Mega Nacho and Vaso-dilating Nacho.
- Dips. Onion, Ranch, Salsa in mild, medium and blow-your-sinuses out caliente, Spinach, guacamole.
- Candy. Chocolate. Copious amounts.
- Preferably bite-sized and non-caramel, for you can not rush a caramel and what happens if a patient codes mid-chew?
- No, for the sake of our patients, our chocolates must be rapid-release, like M&Ms.
- It is a little known fact that staff members who bring in jelly beans are shunned.
And there you have it!
There are a few additonal facts that I find quite interesting.
- While the day shift will often perfer bagels and cream cheese, the PM shift will eat anything and the night shift often goes “gourmet”.
- All food consumed while on the job is burned off within five minutes.
- Unless you are having a slow (yes, I said the “s” word!) night.
- Then it will burn off in ten minutes.
- ER staff never under any circumstances “double dip”.
- Our parents taught us manners.
- We take infection control seriously.
- If you didn’t chart it, you didn’t do it, so therefore if you don’t chart “double-dipping” you obviously did not do it.
- Doctors who bring in food are 98.9% more popular among the nurses than those who do not.
- Nurses who bring in food are 200% more popular amongst the doctors than those who do not.
- We invite everyone to eat.
- There is no status when it comes to the nurses’ food.
- Med students, interns, residents, registrars, primary docs, attendings and consultants are all able to consume equally.
- We include the paramedics,too.
They say music can soothe the savage beast. Well in our ER, it is food that can soothe even the most stressed staff member.
April 18, 2006, 10:40 pm
Well, perhaps a man can believe that you shouldn’t ask deep philosphical questions when a stethoscope is on your chest.
Or a man can believe you can hypnotize your patients by staring right into their eyes.
More likely, a man can believe that if he heads on over to Fat Doctor he will find the latest installment of Grand Rounds.
Mama Doc did a great job and while I broke my tradition and am reading at night with my coffee, I’m enjoying every post.
And she managed to do it all with Tylenol and Diet Coke!
I did it with Diet Pepsi and Thorazine….