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Taylor

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Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The question was how was I going to keep from screaming and crying when he won?

Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Since I happened to be at work and planned to take my break at 2130 so I could watch the results.

Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Simple.

Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 I heard the results two hours early from a co-worker who had just talked to a friend on the east coast.

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Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 What? You’d think I’d scream in front of my co-workers?

Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Okay, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 they heard me.

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********************

I’d like to relay a story told to me by a colleague. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 It made me cry when I heard it and I thought it was both poignant and inspiring. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 And because credit must be given, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 interspersed in the story will be the lyrics to “I Hope You Dance”, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 written by Mark D. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Sanders and Tia Sillers, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 as sung by Lee Ann Womack.

********************

This was her last pregnancy.

She made sure of that.

Too many “mistakes” that had been terminated. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 A rough life on the streets. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 No money, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 no job, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 no friends or family. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Young. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Alone. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Tiny and street smart, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she showed up in a metropolitan emergency room for sutures when she was eight months pregnant. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Sliced her foot on a piece of glass. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Other than listening for fetal heart tones, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 her pregnancy was a side issue; small talk about where she would deliver and when.

The next time the nurse saw her it was in the middle of the night and she recognized her suture patient immediately.

Only she was no longer pregnant. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 In fact, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she had released the baby for adoption.

She stood at the desk sobbing.

(“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance”.)

The nurse, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 having been through it herself, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 recognized post-partum depression before the patient finished her second sentence.

But there was more to it than that.

There was a hole in that patient’s heart as painful as the heaviness in her breasts that were still producing nourishment for the baby she no longer had.

(“Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking”)

You see, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 like all women, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she had an idea of what her birthing experience would be like. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Never one to mince words, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she thought she had made it clear to her doctor that she wanted some time with her newborn before relinquishing her baby to the new adoptive parents.

(“Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making”)

But complications ensued. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The bonding time she expected was a hazy memory of post-anesthesia semi-amnesia and the heavy fog of pain medicine. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She remembered seeing the baby and maybe even holding it, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 but she wasn’t sure. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The next thing she knew, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 her baby was gone.

And she was kept on the floor with the other new mothers, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 even being roomed with a woman who had happy visitor after happy visitor cooing over the baby in the next bed.

That night in the ER she was grieving. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The sobs wracked her entire body. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The nurse, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 on an impulse, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 reached out to hug her and held onto her for a long while.

She was young, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 but she was one smart cookie. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She had tried to obtain help for days before coming into the ER but hit a wall every time she tried.

For you see, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 while there are hundreds of support groups for adoptive parents, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 this particular metropolitan area had absolutely nothing for those mothers (and fathers) who had chosen to relinquish their babies. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The nurse said it was hard to even find post-partum depression support groups in general, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 let alone for birth moms.

Oh, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 but there are many groups for adoptive mothers with post-partum depression.

I had no idea that even existed.

The nurse said she spent over an hour searching the internet.

Must have been a slow night.

(“Don’t let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter”)

The nurse waylaid the doctor before he got to the room and explained that not only was this patient in post-partum depression, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 but was also experiencing a deep, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 deep loss that the patient described as having a part of herself “ripped out”.

She didn’t expect the emotional fall-out. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She didn’t expect the feelings of loss, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 of grief.

Oh, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she knew she had made the right decision and had no intention of reversing it. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The baby was in a far better place than the patient could ever have provided. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 In her innermost core she knew she had made the right decision, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 but the cascade of disappointment in the birthing process combined with the cascade of hormonal changes post-partum made it hard to feel it.

(“When you come close to selling out
Reconsider”)

The nurse wanted to make sure the doctor understood what the patient was feeling. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 Not everyone understands, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 or even believes in post-partum depression. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She wanted to make sure the doctor would be supportive and not write the patient off.

He was and he didn’t.

The patient spent a few hours in the ER and was given a prescription for medication to help her sleep, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 as it had been days. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She went to the pharmacy.

In a horrible twist of fate, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 the state screwed up and stopped the mandated post-partum coverage sooner than required. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 At 0400, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 the pharmacy called the ER and said that the patient was not covered and could not tell us of any medication that was.

The nurse told me that “enough was enough”. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The patient had been through too much to have to deal with this. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The woman didn’t even have two sticks to rub together, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 let alone the money for the medication she needed so badly.

A Visa number was given to the pharmacist. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 The patient received her medicine.

(“Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance”)

The nurse thought that was that. Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 She had vacation coming and was gone for a couple of weeks.

When she came back, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 there was a letter in her mailbox.

In that envelope was a letter of thanks, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 two five-dollar bills……

…….and a photo of the most beautiful baby girl taken just after birth.

Viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 (“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance”)

The letter wasn’t signed.

Something tells me that that gorgeous baby won’t only dance, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 she’ll be a Prima Ballerina.

And I hope that someday, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 somewhere, viagra oral jelly 100mg $131.00 somehow a beautiful little girl will understand that her mother loved her enough to let her go.

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14 Comments

  • Bob
    Bob

    May 25, 2006 at 5:54 am

    Whoa…


  • Shannon
    Shannon

    May 25, 2006 at 6:26 am

    Beautiful post. This is the kind of nurse I want to be. Compassionate. This nurse treated this woman as a human, instead of just a patient. She identified with her situation and didn’t once think of the womans history… she only thought of the womans feelings and THAT is what makes a nurse a NURSE. You not only “nurse” someone back to health, you “nurse” their soul. Stories like these are what inspire me to aim for greatness. Thanks so much for sharing.


  • Margaret
    Margaret

    May 25, 2006 at 8:36 am

    OK, I’m at work and this NOT a nursing job :-), so crying would definitely be inappropriate.

    Thank you for that story.


  • heartoftears
    heartoftears

    May 25, 2006 at 10:24 am

    I’ve been too close to this situation to think with any objectivity anymore. Adoption can be a wonderful thing, but it can also tear out the hearts of those parents who are willing to do what they believe is right. Thank you for taking a moment to remember that for one family to have a new baby through adoption, another family must be broken.


  • Manuela
    Manuela

    May 25, 2006 at 11:09 am

    As an adult adoptee… this absolutely ripped my heart out. I thought of my own birthmom… nearly 40 years ago… as she suffered through the same sort of grief and agony. And while she told herself she’d made the right decision, it didn’t stop her from suffering from decades of nightmares and depression…

    If there’s no support available for this young woman now… there will be even less as the years go by and she starts to question her decision. Which she will. Birthmoms go from being ‘noble’ and ‘smart’ at the time of relinquishment… for having made the right decision to give their children a better life. To soul-less pariahs as the words they hear turn to, “I could NEVER give up a bay! How could you give away your own flesh and blood.”

    Anyway… I am so incredibly grateful that this young woman had a wonderful nurse with such compassion, looking out for her. It’s likely all the support she will ever receive.


  • Alice
    Alice

    May 25, 2006 at 1:38 pm

    Thanks for the story, Kim. I am crying at the end of it.


  • Erica
    Erica

    May 25, 2006 at 5:17 pm

    Kudos to the nurse in your story, and to you for passing along the story. It can be all too easy to lose sight of the human side of emergency medicine. Some days all the technology in the world can’t heal like a simple touch or a hug, and blessed are they who remember that once in a while.


  • Carrie
    Carrie

    May 25, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    Beautiful story, Kim… Thanks for posting it. My heart really is breaking just reading it….


  • may
    may

    May 25, 2006 at 11:43 pm

    wow.

    and congratulations on the new blog:)


  • Dawn
    Dawn

    May 26, 2006 at 8:17 pm

    Thanks for this story Kim, it made me cry too. Touched very close to home.

    and to Heartoftears- Thank you also for your comment. As a birth mother (18 years ago next month) what you said is very true. You are so “smart and loving” to give your child for adoption UNTIL you have actually done it and then everything changes.

    Dawn


  • Dawn
    Dawn

    May 26, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    sorry- I meant to thank manuella for that comment and heartoftears for hers as well. It’s nice to know that some people actually do understand the plight of birth mothers and how hard it REALLY is and that some of us REALLY DO do it out of love for their children and wanting them to have a better life.

    Thanks again Kim.
    Dawn


  • Monika
    Monika

    May 29, 2006 at 6:34 am

    That was amazing. Thanks.


  • difficult patient
    difficult patient

    June 5, 2006 at 6:15 pm

    Ohhhhh, this one was hard to read. I was adopted, and I’ve written a little bit about it, but not much. Although I love my parents, I’ve often felt bitter towards my birth mom. I never really understood, and we never had the chance to meet and talk because she died in a car accident (drinking and driving–no seat belts) when I was three years old (I was adopted at three months). This really puts things into perspective for me . . . Thank you, Kim.


  • RoS
    RoS

    June 23, 2006 at 2:53 am

    I know I’m a bit late in responding to this post, but I just wanted to agree with everyone else…
    What a beautiful post. I can not imagine the courage it would take to know that you could not give your child the life he/she deserves, and to place them with someone who could.
    And that nurse. Wow. What an amazing woman. There are not too many people who are able to put judgement aside, and really see the person in front of them, and to give them what they need. That is the kind of person I aspire to be, not just as a health care professional, but in my day to day existence.


About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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