May, 2006 Archive

July 27, 2016, 2:31 am

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Taylor

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The question was not whether or not Taylor Hicks would win “American Idol”.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The question was how was I going to keep from screaming and crying when he won?

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Since I happened to be at work and planned to take my break at 2130 so I could watch the results.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Simple.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 I heard the results two hours early from a co-worker who had just talked to a friend on the east coast.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 I then, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 very professionally, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 did my Steve Martin “Happy Feet” dance for the next two hours.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 And then screamed and cried in the back room when he won, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 composed myself and finished my shift.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 What? You’d think I’d scream in front of my co-workers?

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Okay, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 they heard me.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 How was I supposed to know the back room wasn’t soundproof?

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I’d like to relay a story told to me by a colleague. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 It made me cry when I heard it and I thought it was both poignant and inspiring. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 And because credit must be given, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 interspersed in the story will be the lyrics to “I Hope You Dance”, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 written by Mark D. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Sanders and Tia Sillers, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 as sung by Lee Ann Womack.

********************

This was her last pregnancy.

She made sure of that.

Too many “mistakes” that had been terminated. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 A rough life on the streets. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 No money, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 no job, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 no friends or family. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Young. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Alone. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Tiny and street smart, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she showed up in a metropolitan emergency room for sutures when she was eight months pregnant. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Sliced her foot on a piece of glass. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Other than listening for fetal heart tones, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 her pregnancy was a side issue; small talk about where she would deliver and when.

The next time the nurse saw her it was in the middle of the night and she recognized her suture patient immediately.

Only she was no longer pregnant. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 In fact, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she had released the baby for adoption.

She stood at the desk sobbing.

(“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance”.)

The nurse, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 having been through it herself, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 recognized post-partum depression before the patient finished her second sentence.

But there was more to it than that.

There was a hole in that patient’s heart as painful as the heaviness in her breasts that were still producing nourishment for the baby she no longer had.

(“Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking”)

You see, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 like all women, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she had an idea of what her birthing experience would be like. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Never one to mince words, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she thought she had made it clear to her doctor that she wanted some time with her newborn before relinquishing her baby to the new adoptive parents.

(“Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making”)

But complications ensued. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The bonding time she expected was a hazy memory of post-anesthesia semi-amnesia and the heavy fog of pain medicine. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She remembered seeing the baby and maybe even holding it, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 but she wasn’t sure. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The next thing she knew, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 her baby was gone.

And she was kept on the floor with the other new mothers, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 even being roomed with a woman who had happy visitor after happy visitor cooing over the baby in the next bed.

That night in the ER she was grieving. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The sobs wracked her entire body. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The nurse, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 on an impulse, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 reached out to hug her and held onto her for a long while.

She was young, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 but she was one smart cookie. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She had tried to obtain help for days before coming into the ER but hit a wall every time she tried.

For you see, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 while there are hundreds of support groups for adoptive parents, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 this particular metropolitan area had absolutely nothing for those mothers (and fathers) who had chosen to relinquish their babies. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The nurse said it was hard to even find post-partum depression support groups in general, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 let alone for birth moms.

Oh, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 but there are many groups for adoptive mothers with post-partum depression.

I had no idea that even existed.

The nurse said she spent over an hour searching the internet.

Must have been a slow night.

(“Don’t let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter”)

The nurse waylaid the doctor before he got to the room and explained that not only was this patient in post-partum depression, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 but was also experiencing a deep, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 deep loss that the patient described as having a part of herself “ripped out”.

She didn’t expect the emotional fall-out. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She didn’t expect the feelings of loss, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 of grief.

Oh, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she knew she had made the right decision and had no intention of reversing it. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The baby was in a far better place than the patient could ever have provided. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 In her innermost core she knew she had made the right decision, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 but the cascade of disappointment in the birthing process combined with the cascade of hormonal changes post-partum made it hard to feel it.

(“When you come close to selling out
Reconsider”)

The nurse wanted to make sure the doctor understood what the patient was feeling. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 Not everyone understands, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 or even believes in post-partum depression. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She wanted to make sure the doctor would be supportive and not write the patient off.

He was and he didn’t.

The patient spent a few hours in the ER and was given a prescription for medication to help her sleep, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 as it had been days. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She went to the pharmacy.

In a horrible twist of fate, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 the state screwed up and stopped the mandated post-partum coverage sooner than required. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 At 0400, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 the pharmacy called the ER and said that the patient was not covered and could not tell us of any medication that was.

The nurse told me that “enough was enough”. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The patient had been through too much to have to deal with this. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The woman didn’t even have two sticks to rub together, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 let alone the money for the medication she needed so badly.

A Visa number was given to the pharmacist. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 The patient received her medicine.

(“Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance”)

The nurse thought that was that. Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 She had vacation coming and was gone for a couple of weeks.

When she came back, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 there was a letter in her mailbox.

In that envelope was a letter of thanks, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 two five-dollar bills……

…….and a photo of the most beautiful baby girl taken just after birth.

Lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 (“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance”)

The letter wasn’t signed.

Something tells me that that gorgeous baby won’t only dance, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 she’ll be a Prima Ballerina.

And I hope that someday, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 somewhere, lamisil 10mg cream $61.00 somehow a beautiful little girl will understand that her mother loved her enough to let her go.

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July 27, 2016, 9:45 am

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July 27, 2016, 10:27 pm

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Baby

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About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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