May, 2006 Archive

September 24, 2016, 2:31 am

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This was her last pregnancy.

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The next time the nurse saw her it was in the middle of the night and she recognized her suture patient immediately.

Only she was no longer pregnant. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 In fact, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 she had released the baby for adoption.

She stood at the desk sobbing.

(“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance”.)

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But there was more to it than that.

There was a hole in that patient’s heart as painful as the heaviness in her breasts that were still producing nourishment for the baby she no longer had.

(“Living might mean taking chances
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You see, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 like all women, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 she had an idea of what her birthing experience would be like. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 Never one to mince words, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 she thought she had made it clear to her doctor that she wanted some time with her newborn before relinquishing her baby to the new adoptive parents.

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But complications ensued. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The bonding time she expected was a hazy memory of post-anesthesia semi-amnesia and the heavy fog of pain medicine. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She remembered seeing the baby and maybe even holding it, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 but she wasn’t sure. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The next thing she knew, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 her baby was gone.

And she was kept on the floor with the other new mothers, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 even being roomed with a woman who had happy visitor after happy visitor cooing over the baby in the next bed.

That night in the ER she was grieving. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The sobs wracked her entire body. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The nurse, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 on an impulse, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 reached out to hug her and held onto her for a long while.

She was young, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 but she was one smart cookie. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She had tried to obtain help for days before coming into the ER but hit a wall every time she tried.

For you see, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 while there are hundreds of support groups for adoptive parents, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 this particular metropolitan area had absolutely nothing for those mothers (and fathers) who had chosen to relinquish their babies. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The nurse said it was hard to even find post-partum depression support groups in general, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 let alone for birth moms.

Oh, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 but there are many groups for adoptive mothers with post-partum depression.

I had no idea that even existed.

The nurse said she spent over an hour searching the internet.

Must have been a slow night.

(“Don’t let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter”)

The nurse waylaid the doctor before he got to the room and explained that not only was this patient in post-partum depression, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 but was also experiencing a deep, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 deep loss that the patient described as having a part of herself “ripped out”.

She didn’t expect the emotional fall-out. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She didn’t expect the feelings of loss, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 of grief.

Oh, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 she knew she had made the right decision and had no intention of reversing it. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The baby was in a far better place than the patient could ever have provided. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 In her innermost core she knew she had made the right decision, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 but the cascade of disappointment in the birthing process combined with the cascade of hormonal changes post-partum made it hard to feel it.

(“When you come close to selling out
Reconsider”)

The nurse wanted to make sure the doctor understood what the patient was feeling. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 Not everyone understands, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 or even believes in post-partum depression. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She wanted to make sure the doctor would be supportive and not write the patient off.

He was and he didn’t.

The patient spent a few hours in the ER and was given a prescription for medication to help her sleep, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 as it had been days. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She went to the pharmacy.

In a horrible twist of fate, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 the state screwed up and stopped the mandated post-partum coverage sooner than required. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 At 0400, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 the pharmacy called the ER and said that the patient was not covered and could not tell us of any medication that was.

The nurse told me that “enough was enough”. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The patient had been through too much to have to deal with this. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The woman didn’t even have two sticks to rub together, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 let alone the money for the medication she needed so badly.

A Visa number was given to the pharmacist. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 The patient received her medicine.

(“Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance”)

The nurse thought that was that. Professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 She had vacation coming and was gone for a couple of weeks.

When she came back, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 there was a letter in her mailbox.

In that envelope was a letter of thanks, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 two five-dollar bills……

…….and a photo of the most beautiful baby girl taken just after birth.

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The letter wasn’t signed.

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And I hope that someday, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 somewhere, professional cialis 20mg pills $88.00 somehow a beautiful little girl will understand that her mother loved her enough to let her go.

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September 24, 2016, 9:45 am

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September 24, 2016, 10:27 pm

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About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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