May, 2006 Archive

July 30, 2016, 5:24 pm

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Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 Since when did nurses become “tough customers”?

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Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 But it won’t have anything¬†to do with my being a nurse.

Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 Nurses obviously held a much higher status back in the 1960s than they do today.

Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 The nursing image sold everything from cars to clothes soap!

Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 These days you might see a nursing image selling sex, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 but let’s not go there.

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Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 I rest my case.

****************************************

Betty Boop

I know you all may be shocked to know that I was once considered a cheap date.

While I was married!

And it all started with a burst of Nitrospray.

********************

?

It wasn’t my fault.

My elderly patient was having chest pain.

My elderly patient was deaf.

My elderly patient needed Nitrospray.

To encourage my patient to open his mouth, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 I leaned over to speak slightly louder into one of his ears.

I pressed the plunger.

I think the patient got more of the dose than I did, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 but I can’t be sure.

********************

What I can be sure of is that nitroglycerin really does work fast.

I had time to walk out of the room before it hit.

Lightheaded, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 tachycardic with palpations, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 somewhere in that twilight zone that lies between the hint of sweat and profuse diaphoresis.

I was gonna go sycopal on their heinies!

Luckily our “trauma” room was empty and I threw myself onto the gurney.

Within ten to fifteen minutes I felt normal enough to get up.

Now what was more embarrassing?¬† Having the reaction to nitro or the fact that no one realized I was flat on my back on a trauma gurney for fifteen minutes and didn’t even miss me!

It’s a toss-up.

********************

I made the fatal mistake of mentioning this episode to a couple of the medics.

Ladies and gentlemen, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 don’t ever tell an embarrassing story to paramedics.

They will torture you for years.

They will pull out Nitrospray and flash it in front of your face.

They will threaten you with Nitrospray if you do not allow them to partake of your potluck.

They are ruthless.

And worst of all, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 they said that if all it took to knock me out was Nitrospray, accutane 5mg pills $89.00 well then I must be fun on a date.

And that is how I got the sobriquet of “cheap date” when all I did was nearly faint.

********************

But I am not a cheap date.?

I can be had for one Venti Caramel Frappuchino with an add-shot and heavy on the whipped cream. Accutane 5mg pills $89.00 That’s at least four bucks!

And my husband has taken adavantage of that weakness on numerous occasions.

Because I’m worth it.

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July 30, 2016, 7:16 pm

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6:12 pm

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*********************************************************************

There are a million stories out there in the Naked Hospital.

And there are three sides to every one of them.

******************

Perception is everything.

Having had recent experience as the nurse, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 the patient and the family member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I am in the unique position of seeing all three sides.

Let us examine how the perception of time, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 place and situation differ depending on which “chair” you occupy.

Episode One: The Perception of Time

  • Nurse: Okay, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 patient is back from x-ray and needs to be re-revitaled, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 but he’s stable and I have a new admission and need to start an IV on my other patient and start his pre-op antibiotic.
  • Patient: I’m sedated.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Geeze, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 he’s been back for an hour and I haven’t even seen his nurse yet. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Hmmm….he’s had Dilaudid, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I wonder what his vitals are? (Thinks about putting pt on monitor….nah, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 they might think you’re pushy.) Well, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 his airway is intact, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 his respirations are regular, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 his color is good and he’s sedated. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No problem, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ve got this wonderful three-year-old Time Magazine to help pass the time, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 obviously written before Tom Cruise had his meltdown. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Oh look at this, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Britney wasn’t even married yet. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 How time flies (no pun intended).

Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Episode Two: The Introduction

  • Nurse: Gotta get these vitals done, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 thank god he’s still asleep, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 there’s a woman in the room, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 couldn’t care less who it is. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No time for pleasantries. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 we don’t have any results back yet. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No we don’t know what the ultrasound showed. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No need to tell you who I am.
  • Patient: I’m sedated.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Ah yes, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 five hours after arrival and three hours after blood has been drawn, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 how could I possibly expect any results. Silly me. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 That’s why I don’t work in this ER; I had forgotten. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Now, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 the ultrasound is another story, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 they are probably swamped and those results can be delayed. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Dang, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 this chair is giving me a backache….geeze that nurse is a bitch. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No one smiles around here. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Must..blog..on..paper…towel…to…ease…frustration….

Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Episode Three: Pain is the fifth vital sign

  • Nurse: How could you say your pain is that high, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you were asleep when I came in! How can you be in pain and asleep?
  • Patient: Huh? What? Oh, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 it’s the blood pressure cuff…huh? About 4-5. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Oh, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 gee, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I must have given the wrong answer, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 let me drop the number by two and see if I pass the test. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’m sure tired.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: I cannot believe she just questioned his pain scale. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 (Outloud): “Honey, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you need to say what the pain is for you. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 There is no right or wrong answer” (/outloud) Geeze that nurse is a jerk. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 But at least she started smiling after she found out I was an RN. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 For awhile there I thought she had botoxed her way to mediocrity.

Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Episode Four: And the hits just keep on comin’

(Heard via ringdown: possible triple dissecting AAA enroute Code 3

Heard two seconds later, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 overhead: Trauma Code, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Alpha, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 ETA 5)

  • Nurse: Oh (insert four-letter word of choice here)…….!!!!!!!!
  • Patient: I’m sedated.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Oh (insert four-letter word of choice here)….I feel sorry for the staff….bad shift….this means it will be another two hours before we see anyone or get any results. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Good thing I’ve got this Family Circle from 1963 to keep me occupied. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Hmmm….look at this article that states some women actually work outside the home….and a great recipe for lard-encrusted deep-fried cake! Dang, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 my back aches in this chair.

Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Episode Five: The Change of Shift@1900

  • ER Doctor: You have gallstones (Ed note: diagnosis=seven hours in the making). Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Your blood sugar is up. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Do you have a doctor? Do you have insurance? (Ed note: oh yes, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 he did say that! And this is the only time I saw him.) You’ll be followed up by the hospitalist and surgeon. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Looks like you’ll have to stay in the hospital tonight.
  • Nurse: Hey dude! I’m your totally cool and energetic new nurse. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Let me introduce myself to your wife! Why she looks familiar. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Why, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 we know the same people! Dude, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 how’s the pain – can you deal? You call me if you need more of the good juice, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 man, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 okay?
  • Patient: I’m awake and okay. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Good to meet you. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Do you think we can put this off until after my son’s graduation?
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Thank you, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 God. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 He’s in good hands now. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Probably laparoscopic chole and we’re good to go! This is the second time someone has mentioned blood sugar. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 And now they’re giving insulin……is this true diabetes or a fluke response to cholecystitis. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Pancreas numbers normal. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Hmmmmm…..

Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Episode Six: The Pain Returns With A Vengeance

(Heard overhead: Trauma Code Alpha, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 ETA 5)
(Yes, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 this is another one!)
  • Nurse: Oh (insert new four-letter word)….Man, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 this is frustrating, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I have asked the doctor to write another order three times but he hasn’t gotten to it yet. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 My patient is hurting worse and can’t find a comfortable position. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 This isn’t fair. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 We are so freakin’ busy!
  • Patient: The pain is worse and I can’t find a comfortable position. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I need more of the medication, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’m almost at the same level as when I came in, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 and I am now wide awake and cranky (when the nurse is out of the room). Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I think you should go home and check kids.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Oh (insert two four-letter words here)…now we are that much more behind in getting anywhere. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 (Reminds patient that kids are adults.)Where the hell is the pain medication? Forty-five minutes have elapsed so far from the time of the request. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Gee, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 watching a clock is a pain. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Here, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll put the call bell on your siderail instead of five feet away from you and if the pain gets worse I want you to call. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll go get Son and we’ll switch cars and get yours home. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Yes, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I have your wallet. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 No, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 we don’t know about surgery until you see a surgeon. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll stay until you get your shot. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Okay, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll go now but only if your promise to call the nurse prn. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 That means as needed. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Sorry. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Nursespeak.
Episode Seven: The Hospitalist

  • MD: Hi! I’m Dr. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Young-Enough-To-Be-Your-Son. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Looks like you have gallstones and your sugar is up. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Let me take a comprehensive history! Yes, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you can have a sip of water! Nice to meet you!
  • Patient: Okay! (I would be sedated but someone is talking to me. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 It took an hour to get medicated and now I am and no one will leave me alone! So this is what “high” feels like.)
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: Wow. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 He’s young enough to be my son. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 He’s cute, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 too. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 In a theraputic way, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 of course. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll pull the curtain so there is some privacy for the exam. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 We still have to wait for the surgeon. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 You’re just the introductory doc. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Good thing I brought this book called “Cutting Remarks” about the life of a surgical resident in the ’70s, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 to read while I wait. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Only a nurse would bring this. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Haha. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I crack myself up.
Episode Eight: THE SURGEON
(Time elapsed since patient arrival: Ten Hours)
  • THE SURGEON: Hello, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I am THE SURGEON. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 You may bow in my presense and call me GOD! I am about to take an extremely thorough history and I will take no nonsense from that woman in the corner, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 nor will I engage in any nonsense. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I may be small and female, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 but so help me, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 ME, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I have more authority in my little finger than you’ve had your entire life. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Answer the following questions. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 They will come fast, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 they will come succinct and they will help me save your life. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Let me finish discussing the surgery and risks before you barage me with question about if you will be able to travel to your son’s graduation. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 (Raises eyebrow at Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 who shuts up immediately). Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I will use this detailed model I have just drawn at the bedside to explain exactly what I am going to do. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 We don’t have to do surgery right away if your pain is better and your liver enzymes are down tomorrow. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 If they are not, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 we will have to do surgery. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 You are a diabetic and fooling yourself if you think you are healthy. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I will now depart with my flowing scrub jacket flapping behind me.
  • The Patient: Oh man. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’m tired and want to go to sleep. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 You go home, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you need some sleep.
  • Family Member RN: I love that SURGEON! She’s’ tough, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 she’s cool, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 she rocks! She has the bedside manner of a screwdriver but in the OR, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 it’s her skills that you need and she used to do trauma! Hella cool! No, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll stay until you get up to your room. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’m a night nurse, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 remember? I’m used to this. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 (I’m exhausted. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 My back hurts. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ve read the same paragraph four times, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 but you don’t need to know that.) I’m fine (smile, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 girl, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 smile – get your Academy Award later).
Episode Nine: The Admission
  • Nurse: We have a room assignment, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 we’ll have you up by 2330. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Change of shift, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you know.
  • Patient: Thank god. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ve been here 12 hours. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Honey, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you go home.
  • Family Member, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 RN: (It’s change of shift, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 you won’t be outta here until 0100). Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 I’ll go so you can sleep. Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 Love you, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 too! (Keep smiling…..lose it in the elevator….don’t lose it in front of him). Erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 See ya tomorrow! (I’m gonna go home and blog)
And there you have it.
The view from all three sides of the health-care triangle, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 from someone who’s been seen it all.
But no matter where you sit, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 the goal is the same.
The health, erythromycin 250mg pills $224.00 care and comfort of the patient.
It’s what we do.
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About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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