September, 2006 Archive

September 19, 2006, 8:34 pm

A Constipated Profession or A Visionary Movement?


Nope, you’re eyes aren’t playing tricks on you!

This really is Milk of Magnesia Toothpaste!

Two tubes for thirty-three cents!

I guess back then you could get your teeth and your rectum squeaky clean!

Sort of a new perspective on the term “tightie whities”.

Today, we have Crest Whitestrips to brighten our smiles!

I wonder.

If you drink Milk of Magnesia do you get any teeth whitening benefits?


I think I am going to be sick.

Either that or I am going to bang my forehead into the wall until I’m committed as a 5150.

The reason?

I just finished reading the responses to a Medscape article entitled “Introducing the Doctor of Nursing Practice”.

Dear God.

Would someone pass the Zofran?


I am a nurse.

I am a member of a profession that can’t even decide on the appropriate entry level degree and even if they ever get around to it, they can’t produce nurses fast enough because they don’t have the instructors!

Now they want to add an additional degree level to become an Advance Practice Nurse!

And guess what that new APN would be called?


Excuse my language, but WTF????????????


Dear Nursing Leaders of America,

With all due respect,

First things first, okay?

  • Decide on what you want the entry level of nursing to be.
  • Pay the pants off anyone who even remotely verbalizes an interest in teaching so that they will teach!
  • Fill the profession in from the ground up.
  • Once you have eased the nursing shortage, make it easy for RNs to become Advanced Practice Nurses, be they Nurse Practitioners, Midwives, CRNAs – I don’t care what you call them.
  • Pay them comensurate with the amount of education already required to attain that status. Nurses will flock to it if you pay them what they are worth.
  • THEN, educate the public on exactly what an Advanced Practice Nurse does and does not do.

And after you have done all of the above, and taken care of the crises already existing in the nursing profession, then and only then will a Doctor of Nursing Practice be taken seriously by the rank and file.

You know. Us. The grunts in the trenches.

From your hallowed halls of academia we were given “nursing diagnoses”.

Now I don’t know if you are aware of this, but here in the real world, the majority of nurses consider nursing diagnoses absurd.

But…we jump through the academic hoops because we are a profession that can now diagnose.


Hmmmm…and now you want a doctorate degree as the entry level to advanced practice nursing?

Call it medical school and be done with it.

It sounds to me like our profession has a whopping case of doctor-envy.

And I’m sick of it.



Do I focus on my bedside patient care and retire from this identity crisis ridden profession keeping my mouth shut?

No friggin’ way.

I’ve put too much of my life into this profession to let it get screwed up and over.

I’ve been quietly looking at an online RN-to-MSN program for Associate Degree and Diploma graduates.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it.

It’s a lot of money for no financial gain.

But….I thought it would be interesting to put my time and money where my mouth is and see if an advanced degree would really change my practice.

Well, this has made me so angry I’ve decided to do it.


What is going on in the heads of our leaders?

They are totally disconnected from the rest of us, that’s what.

And if there is going to be any change then it needs to come from inside the profession.

From advance practice nurses, or nurses with advanced degrees who can manage to stay focused on what this profession needs.

Right now what this profession needs is a good laxative and someone is going to have to be the enema.


And people wonder why we need an Office of the National Nurse.

Maybe the National Nurse would actually represent my profession.

Lord knows the leaders aren’t focused on the real work of nursing.

The real work of nursing is recruiting and retaining the best nurses we can.

Not inventing another hoop to jump through.

My nurse, the doctor.

Something is drastically wrong.


And so, in conclusion: the Doctor of Nursing Practice.

Sign of a constipated profession or visionary savior of the fold?

I’m pretty sure you know where I stand.

Any questions?

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2:57 pm

Music Therapy


As you are all aware, Emergiblog is a place for serious contemplation and discussion of issues affecting the access and delivery of emergency health care in the United States, specifically as it relates to the practice of nursing.

Ah phooey!

ER nurses just wanna have fun!

And, having been tagged by Difficult Pt and Rob , I will now join my colleague, Flea, and subject you to my current “Top Seven” songs.

And so, in best Casey Kasem voice, here they are:

  • Candy – Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson:
    • first video I ever saw on MTV when I finally got it in 1991.
    • Darn good song!
    • I wish I was Kate Pierson.
  • Bring Me To Life – Evanescence:
    • Unbelievable lead singer in Amy Lee
    • Has the best line EVER, “Save me from the nothing I’ve become, oooo….ooooo”.
    • Darn good rocking song.
    • I wish I was Amy Lee.
  • Learn to Fly – Foo Fighters:
    • Funniest video on the face of the earth
    • Great lyrics and darn good beat.
    • No, I don’t wish I was Dave Grohl.
  • I Don’t Wanna Be- Gavin Degraw/Bo Bice:
    • Either version`rocks my boat.
    • Darn good line: “I’m tired of lookin’ ’round, who’s wonderin’ what I gotta do, or who I’m supposed to be…I don’t wanna be anything other than me!”
      • Yeah, I’m at that stage where I can tell people to go to hell, I am who I am. Don’t like it, lump it.
      • Sort of like my second adolescence. Only this time I don’t get grounded.
    • And while I do not wish to be either Gavin or Bo, a couple of hours with Bo Bice would be nice. Theoretically speaking.
  • Vertigo – U2:
    • Oh man, this could conceivably be the Best. Rock. Song. Ever. Written.
    • Best line: “It’s everything I wish I didn’t know…….”
    • I can’t even sit still when this thing comes on my iPod.
      • This can be very embarrassing in a doctor’s office.
    • I had no idea Bono could be this good. Still not crazy about the rest of the U2 catalogue.
  • Incomplete – Backstreet Boys
    • Repeat after me: POW-ER BAL-LAD!
    • Okay, I gotta thing for Kevin Richardson, wanna make something of it?
    • They really need to drop the “Boys” and just go with “Backstreet” as their name.
      • Trust me, I own the video.
      • These guys stopped bein’ boys a loooong time ago
  • Do I Make You Proud? – Taylor Hicks
    • Schamaltsy? Yes.
    • Tear jerker? Absolutely.
    • Did I power vote for Taylor Hicks for four hours straight last season on American Idol? You betcha!
    • Am I going to use this for a slide show at my daughter’s wedding – you BET I am!

I never include Journey in these lists because the songs are so ingrained into my life I can’t choose between them. Same with Lindsey Buckinham – the man is just ingrained in every cell of my body. AND he has a new solo album coming out in a few weeks!

And there you are. My list.

Which I could expand on to about seven hundred songs.

I now return you to the ever serious, always rockin’ Emergiblog……..


Ooops! I forgot to tag. I’ve decided to tag a group with so much free time they will welcome the challenge of a tag: Student Nurses!

(I hope they hear the sarcasm in that last statement or you may find me buried in nursing caps in a remote location.)

I hereby tag: Chialing81, Too Fat For Ponies, Aunt Pickle, Dawn, Student Nurse Jack, Intelinurse2b and Wendy.

See, nurses don’t eat their young.

They tag them.

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9:50 am

Rounding at (Tapioca) Tundra Medicine


I suppose I should explain the connection between my post photo and my subject.

My subject is Grand Rounds, this week hosted by The Tundra PA at Tundra Medicine Dreams.

Our Tundra PA did a beautiful job, with forty-seven, count ’em…forty seven posts from the medical blogosphere. We were rather prolific this week!

I’m proud, and surprised (!) to find the Emergiblog entry in the “Editor’s Top Five” of the week.

My daughter would have called the post a “timed write”.

Assignment: one post for Grand Rounds and you have thirty minutes before the deadline!

Now the connection:

Michael Nesmith wrote a song called “Tapioca Tundra” that is found on this particular Monkees album.

So every time I read “Tundra Medicine Dreams” this song comes into my head, even though it has nothing to do with the Alaskan tundra.

I know, I checked the lyrics.

Why yes, I am a nerd, thank you.

I’ll spare you all the opinion that the Monkees are the most underrated group.

…that Micky Dolenz has one of the most recognizable voices in rock history,

…that Michael Nesmith has the most amazing gift of lyricism,

…that Peter Tork had to be the world’s greatest comedian to pull off his “dummy” role in the show and,

…that Davy is, well cute!

Oh, and this is one of those cases where I failed to link to a blog that I read rather regularly.

I will now remedy that situation and you can find “Tundra Medicine Dreams” under the “Medical Blogger of Interest” section.

And people say I monkee around……..

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About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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