I have a confession to make.
I turned off the game.
My options were to obliterate any evidence of the slaughter or go take ten milligrams of Valium for my nerves.
The other option was a few shots of Irish whiskey.
So I’m a horrible Irish fan and I should turn in my autographed Brady Quinn football and put my pom poms in storage.
But I have one thing to say to the offensive line of Notre Dame right now.
Hey, dudes, your PRIME DIRECTIVE is to PROTECT YOUR QUARTERBACK.
Your other job is to GET YOUR BIG O’ SELVES FREE from any and all spoiled brat rich kid defensive line JERKS trying to PREVENT you from exercising your PRIME DIRECTIVE.
Not that I’m bitter. Or anything.
And you! Yeah, you on the Notre Dame defensive line. Okay ALL of you on the Notre Dame defensive line! YOUR job is to STOP the spoiled brat rich kid OFFENSE of the OTHER team from exercising their Prime Directive.
John David Booty needed his bootie kicked and badly. While chivalrous of you to allow him unimpeded access to his receivers, it would have been much more appreciated if you had landed him flat on his back, oh, I don’t know, maybe…..once or twice a quarter!
Not that I’m upset. Or anything.
Irish, you blew it. When you win you play like the champions I know you are, but when you blow it you make Hurricane Katrina look like a puff of wind.
I do NOT want to be a fly on the wall when Charlie Weis gets ahold of this team after this abomination of a game.
Now my only consolation is the fact that the Irish will be in a Bowl game. I think.
And that I will be able to follow Brady Quinn and that hunk of a receiver Jeff Samardzjia in the NFL next year.
Well, let me paraphrase that deep philosopher named Scarlett O’Hara.
Tomorrow…is another season!
I’m so upset right now, I am not even going to post the Notre Dame fight song. How upset am I? My husband took my football out of my hands so that I would not throw it through the television set.
In conclusion, I am a bad, bad fan.
And I hate usc with a passion never before seen in human history.
So! How was YOUR day?