August 27, 2016, 1:56 pm

Emugel 50gm Tube $145.00

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 1.jpg

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 “In a nurse’s own words…”

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Well, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 we can’t exactly read the nurse’s own words so allow me to paraphrase.

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Photo number one: “Oh my, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 I have a splitting headache in my left parietal region. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Why…I must be constipated! It’s a well known fact that constipation is the number one cause of migraine headaches!”

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Photo number two: “Oh no! The pain has moved to my right parietal region. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 I have to be at work at 0700, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 so I had better get this laxative in as soon as possible!

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Photo number three: “There, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 there Mr. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Smith. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 I’ve placed you at a thirty degree angle so you can eat your breakfast. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 And I’ve fluffed your pillow, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 just so! You’re so welcome!’ [Thinking to self: “Oh great…that damn laxative is kicking in and I haven’t been able to take a break in five hours. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 How am I supposed to keep smiling in the throes of the perpetual proclivity of peristaltic pressure?”].

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Maybe if she was able to take a break when nature called she wouldn’t be constipated to begin with!

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 And that pretty much sums up the ad.

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 You’ll have to trust me on that one.

Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 (I think I went to high school with a Sal Hepatica….)

******************************

shane.jpgHe’s young!

He’s cute!

He’s the wind beneath Emergiblog’s wings!

He’s Shane, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 the Web Guy!

MY web guy.

The man is a walking encyclopedia on successful blogging.

And now you can take advantage of that knowledge.

Enter: Ask Shane.org!

Got a question on how to increase your blog’s visibility?

Need ideas to increase traffic or make a bit of money from the blog?

Want to know if the latest email invitation to join a blog group is worth your time and effort?

Need to know if something is legit vs. Emugel 50gm tube $145.00 a scam?

Ask Shane! He’ll post the answers so all bloggers can benefit from your question!

You’ll always find the link on the top of the right hand sidebar here on Emergiblog.

Better yet, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 put the link on your blog and it will always be handy!

******************************

And now for our feature presentation…

The Commode

It sits in an atmosphere of dim gloom, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Within the confines of the dirty utility room.

Until a patient decides that they need to “go”

At which point they summon a nurse, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 don’t you know!

“I need to pee, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 and you better scurry!”

“The Lasix is causing my bladder to hurry!”

The bane of existance, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 the loop diuretic, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Having to carry that porta-pot is just pathetic.

“Oh dear, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 it’s too high!”

“Oh dear, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 it’s too low!”

Well I can’t adjust it, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

So just sit and “go”!

So why use the contraption, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

You might want to ask, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

So let me explain

Why it’s up to the task.

The bedpans they spill and the patient can’t lift, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

So right up their backs on the sheet the pee shifts.

The bathroom it sits in the hall way down thar, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

And the patient can’t hold it to toddle that far!

With bowel movements – geeze, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Don’t get me started, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Half the time is spent cleaning the pot I just carted.

(You expected me to rhyme with a different word there, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 didn’t you?

Hey, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 Emergiblog is a classy joint, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 okay?)

No sooner do I scrub, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

and bleach all soil away, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

When the patient, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 they call

And say “Bring it back here this way!”

The five thousand Fleets

That they tried yesterday, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Have started to work.

Oh, emugel 50gm tube $145.00 yippie-ky-aye!

And when then are done, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

I’m sure they have found

They’ve lost in the neighborhood

Of twenty-five pounds.

I know this is true, emugel 50gm tube $145.00

Because I have to haul

The production of the century

Back down the hall.

So give repect where it’s due

to the lowly commode.

And just thank the lord

it can hold all that load.

The End

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17 Comments

  • A Bohemian Road Nurse...
    A Bohemian Road Nurse...

    February 7, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Too funny!


  • Mother Jones RN
    Mother Jones RN

    February 7, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    Oh my God, Girl! You are too funny. And that Shane is cute, too!

    MJ


  • girlvet
    girlvet

    February 7, 2007 at 5:21 pm

    Kim – you missed your calling! POET. It is so fun to connect with all the nurses online who blog. Its like having your own support system.


  • Annemiek
    Annemiek

    February 7, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    whoaa!


  • Mama Mia
    Mama Mia

    February 7, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Nice one!


  • StudentNurseJack
    StudentNurseJack

    February 7, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    I bow down in wonder of your word craftsmanship.


  • Max E Nurse
    Max E Nurse

    February 8, 2007 at 5:03 am

    Joyous! It brings back fond memories of when I used to do such things. Now I just sit on my arse behing a desk and the patients come to me. Oh how life hath changed.


  • Jo
    Jo

    February 8, 2007 at 5:38 am

    That was soooo funny I almost needed a bedpan myself!
    I agree, I think Shane’s a great guy and a great Web guy.


  • Trauma Junkie
    Trauma Junkie

    February 8, 2007 at 7:50 am

    its called FOLEY CATHETER time. The ER Tech’s best freind.


  • Susan
    Susan

    February 8, 2007 at 8:22 am

    Wonderful post! You are a true artiste!


  • Cindy
    Cindy

    February 8, 2007 at 11:40 am

    This is great, I’m going to post a copy at work!!


  • justcallmejo
    justcallmejo

    February 9, 2007 at 8:13 am

    Coffee > nose > keyboard

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    /jo

    p.s. Yes, Shane is cute.


  • TBTAM
    TBTAM

    February 11, 2007 at 7:38 am

    Hey, thanks for the link to Shane – that’s a keeper!


  • Deacon Barry
    Deacon Barry

    February 12, 2007 at 6:51 am

    I’ve just submitted a question to Shane. Thanks for the link.


  • NPs Save Lives
    NPs Save Lives

    February 16, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    Kim, That’s a real gem! Keep them coming!


  • Who Do They Think You Are? » Ask Shane.org
    Who Do They Think You Are? » Ask Shane.org

    February 23, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    […] For example, I count May, Kim, Mother Jones, apgaRN, Mama Mia, Beth, and many other bloggers as friends, but Kim is the only one I have ever seen (and that was only a single picture), and Mother Jones is the only one I’ve ever talked to on the phone. That’s it. And until Kim outed me a couple of weeks ago, none of them knew what I even looked like, yet I still had access to most of their passwords. […]


  • […] constipation is the number one cause of migraine headaches! Photo number two: Oh no! source: An Ode to the Commode, Emergiblog // The Life & Times of an ER […]


About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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