It seems many people suffered from simple nervous tension in the ’60s.
Must have been all the amphetamines that were being prescribed as diet pills.
Compoz was supposed to take care of that.
But did you know that Compoz would also cure allergic reactions, act as an antinausea medication, work on motion sickness and help with EPS reactions?
All it is is diphenhydramine.
Just plain ol’ Benadryl.
Who knew that if you suffered from simple nervous tension, you could take Benadryl?
I wonder if I can buy it in bulk…..
They finally arrived.
My new white scrubs with my name ever so eleganty embroidered on the left side!
They were so freakin’ white I had to wear sunglasses.
But first I had to make sure I had the appropriate accoutrements . One does not want to wear navy-blue foundation garments under white scrubs.
Flesh-colored unmentionables: check!
I placed the scrubs on my oh-so-professional self. I swear I glowed in the dark.
Consultation with husband in three different lighting conditions to make sure my underwear was not showing: check!
Hmmm….an unexpected situation: the scrubs were so vibrant in their whiteness, they made my white shoes, socks and scrub jacket look like I had dipped them in Hershey’s chocolate syrup and rolled them in the rain puddle in the front yard.
There’s white and then there is WHITE!
No matter. I, the Professional Nurse, was all in white. I nearly grabbed my cap for the occasion.
With head held high and nose somewhere in the stratosphere, I drove to work and entered the sacred healing area known as the Emergency Department.
My co-workers noticed my attire; there were a few double-takes.
No one said a word!
Ha! You are all jealous of my professional whiteness of attire, oh you of the no-cap-wearing generation!
I went in and threw my new dusty blue Littmann Cardiology II over my neck and went out to begin gettin’ down wit’ my bad self.
Approximately an hour into the shift, I looked down to find dirt on my scrubs at the level of my lower sternum.
Where in the heck did I come into contact with dirt?
There’s no dirt in nursing!
Did I walk through a dust storm?
Later, I looked down at my pearly white scrub pants and saw a stain!
This being a less than hellacious night, I had not had the pleasure of encountering any body fluids.
But there it was, on my right lateral knee area. Light yellow. Circular.
It was a darned stain from the gigantic He-Man All Meat Pizza we ordered.
I don’t dribble pizza oil.
I began to think my Uber-professional scrubs were attracting foreign material.
I couldn’t be responsible! I was a professional!
I managed to get home without further soiling.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a fistfull of Baked Cheetos, sat down at my computer and began to peruse my email.
About 15 minutes later, I looked down to find my entire torso covered in bright orange Cheeto powder.
Now I knew it had to be the fault of the scrubs.
I don’t dribble Cheeto powder.
Alas, I suspect my experiement with white scrubs may be short-lived. Having bought them, I intend to wear them, even if it does mean an entire bottle of Spray-and-Wash after each shift.
I’ve also decided I look just as professional in navy blue scrubs with my name elegantly embroidered in white on the left.
I suspect that in a month, the blinding white scrubs will be grey.
But it will be their fault!