March 3, 2007, 3:34 pm

The Morning After

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No.

No, I’m not man enough to drink less than the rest of the boys.

But I wish I had.

Now, the only “boy” I was drinking with was my husband.

Last Wednesday, we had gone to the local “Improv” to watch one of my co-workers who is a very talented stand-up comic.

Let me say here that I don’t drink often. In fact, it verges on “rarely”.

The opportunity just does not present itself that often.

*****

The last time I had a drink was at a big family dinner two years ago.

I wanted an Apple Martini. I had never even had a regular Martini before.

They were good.

I had three.

I do believe that was two more than I probably should have had, but I was able to walk a straight line to the car.

I giggled the whole way, but I was able to walk it.

*****

I was not going to repeat that mistake this time.

I had one Apple Martini.

Now the club had a two item minimum. So I ordered a B-52 (the drink, not the group).

I have no idea what is in a B-52 but it was hot and had whipped cream and a cherry on top.

It was good.

My husband was exercising his option of nursing a Bud Light in view of his status as a diabetic.

One Bud Light.

Except he had a two-item mimimum.

So I ordered another B-52 to assist him in reaching his minimum goal of two items.

He said I should “nurse” this one.

So I did:

  • I assessed the drink, specifically the amount of whipped cream applied and the angle of the cherry.
  • I planned how best to drink the fluid, particularly how to do so without getting a whipped cream moustache as “number two” did not come with a straw.
  • I intervened and drank the warm, somewhat intoxicating fluid.
  • I evaluated the drink.

It was good. Really good.

I began giggling.

Did I mention that the show had not even started yet?

*****

The next morning I felt like I had been hit upside the head with a two-by-four and all my intercostal muscles were aching.

You know that troop surge the President was talking about?

It felt like twenty thousand US Marines had surged into my stomach.

And their Drill Instructor wouldn’t shut up.

*****

“Gee honey, I must have laughed really hard last night, my chest muscles are aching and I feel like I’m moving in slow motion.” I mentioned to my husband.

“Kim, I hate to tell you this, but you are having a hang-over.”

“I am not! I only had one Apple Martini!”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and about six different varieties of alcohol in those two ‘coffees’ you drank.”

“Are you saying I was drunk?”

“Well, let’s put it this way. We were at a Comedy Club and you were laughing hysterically before the show even started.”

Oh.

Well, excuuuuuuuse me!

*****

I post this only as a public service announcement to drink responsibly.

You would think someone my age, someone who is so close to fifty she can touch it, would know her alcohol tolerance.

Oh well. Anyone want to join me in a rousing chorus of “Love Shack”?

7 Comments

  • Mel
    Mel

    March 3, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    Which is why I passed on the cranberry margarita I was so tempted by last night. It’s been a bad week at work, to put it mildly, but I haven’t had a drink since Sept 2005 and I knew that I had to take kids to basketball this morning.


  • Linda
    Linda

    March 3, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    My husband and I had re-scheduled date night tonight (make up for valentine’s blizzard! when we got 37 inches of snow) and I had a margarita. It was good 🙂 I rarely have one and almost never more than one. B-52 sounds divine! I made him stop at starbucks on the way home to get a latte 🙂
    I’ll be up half the night.

    Glad you had fun at the show!


  • Marcia
    Marcia

    March 4, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    I loved how you “nursed” your drink. That was hilarious.


  • emily
    emily

    March 4, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    …”is a little old place
    where we can get together…..!”

    I am nursing my hangover today…ohhhh….and it was the Army guys making me _do_ the drinking 🙂

    ouch.


  • valereie
    valereie

    March 4, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    From the home of theB52’s, they tore the Love Shack down a few years ago. But “I got me a car, its as big as a whale”., and we can cruise Athens and “get together”. I liked your very clinical evaluation of the drink you “nursed”. LOL


  • Jo
    Jo

    March 6, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Hilarious! Love the APIE on the drink. The last time I had a drink was on New Years and had one glass of wine. I was ready for bed at 11:00.
    “TIN ROOF…Rusted!”


  • Max E Nurse
    Max E Nurse

    March 7, 2007 at 4:00 am

    Alcohol consumption is good for you, and so you got a little rat-arsed, well we all have to let our hair down.
    You don’t need to drink less, but practice more…
    Max


About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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