Ooooo….I like these!
Tailoring tells the story, alright:
(1) I don’t have the figure for them and
(2) My legs are not 3/4 the length of my body.
There’s a certain 30’s elegance about them.
Probably because they are 1930s uniforms.
In the interest of public education, there are ten things I’d like to tell the patients of my little part of the world:
- Vomiting is not an allergy. It is a side effect, adverse reaction and bummer all in one.
- One pain shot does not an addiction make.
- When a sharp object, like a needle, pierces the skin, it hurts. If an injection of medication follows that pierce, chances are it will hurt even more. Ask not if it “will hurt” but ask “will this hurt a lot?”.
- Telling us your pain is 324.8/10 is the oldest joke in the book. We will smile, but we’ve heard it before.
- Showing up in an ER for abdominal pain and then refusing all diagnostic tests is…well….illogical.
- If you are calling to see how busy the ER is, chance are you do not have an emergency. ER shopping and life-threatening emergencies are not concurrent events.
- If you got someone into the car, you can get them out of the car. Unless they are dead on arrival, which means they probably needed an ambulance to begin with.
- The wrong thing to say when asked why you called an ambulance for your hangnail: “Hell, I didn’t have to pay for it!”. This is guaranteed to make your nurse devoid of any and all sympathy. Chances are they join the millions of employed citizens who are paying to give you the right to a “free” ambulance. There isn’t a single sob story in the world that can change the fact that you have abused the health care system.
- Vomiting a liter of bright red blood is a good reason to call an ambulance, whether the patient wants you to or not!
- Please, please…..if your child’s pacifier falls on the floor of the emergency department, do NOT give it back to the child. I know the room looks immaculate, but the patient before you was a GI Bleed and blood flows downward, if you get my drift.
I’m just sayin’….