June 18, 2007, 7:16 pm

Must Be Exhausting to Lose Your Own Game


I could use a gallon of this right now.

And I don’t think I’m the only one who should be guzzling this like water.

I have never been so depressed about blogging as I have been today.

It’s the first time in two years, I actually considered cashing in my chips, so to speak.

And then I thought, screw it!

I’m a blogger, hear me roar!

You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time…

And then there are individuals who make you feel like you are banging your head against the wall.

They only hear what their mindset allows them to hear, and no matter what you say or what you do, you are the enemy.

I’m tired of being considered the enemy.


Before I let this subject fly to the great blog archive in the sky, I will address two things that were raised via email as proof of my enemy status.

I mention them here because perhaps others may have had the same questions.

  • I do not respond to my email.

Like 99.9% of all bloggers, I have a very full life. I work four night shifts a week. I spend eight hours a week working on my two Nursing Jobs.org columns. I write my regular blog posts. Once a month or so I host a blog carnival. For many months out of the year I am working on my BSN classwork. I travel three hours one-way on my days off to help care for my sister. I have two children getting married this summer, a teenager still at home and somewhere in all this I have a husband who occasionally gets some attention!

Alas, I sometimes get backlogged on my email. I leave it in my inbox so that I can get to it during my free time. I appreciate getting it, make no mistake. I do like to wait until I can give it some attention instead of firing off a one-sentence answer.

  • I do not answer/respond to the comments on my blog.

Guess what? All comments on Emergiblog come to me as…..email! I do respond to the comments to the individual commenter, via email. I don’t respond in the comments myself because my “comment” is my post! I like to leave the comments and any resulting debate to those who are commenting! Why? It’s the way I like to do it!


At first I was sorry that I had even written the previous post. Sick that I had been misunderstood by the one person who I thought would have gotten some perspective/feedback/support from my viewpoint.

I thought I was sticking my neck out for a fellow blogger, a fellow nurse.

It was not seen that way by the involved party. In fact, I was asked to leave this person alone.

Now I’m angry. The blog post stands as written. I mean every word written in it.


Today in the car, this verse came through my iPod. It’s a song by Evanescence.

Couldn’t take the blame,
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you’re jaded,
You can’t play the victim this time.

Isn’t it funny how something you hear day in and day out can take on a new meaning when you have something on your mind?

Well, it’s over.

Emails have been blocked.

Links have been taken down.

This is the last that I will talk of the situation or even remotely refer to it on Emergiblog.

If this seems enigmatic to some of the readers, I apologize.

I needed to get it off my chest. I have so many more important things to deal with, this was taking precious energy and I will no longer allow it to do so.

Thanks for reading.


  • Jen

    June 18, 2007 at 7:29 pm

    I agree, I don’t answer emails regarding my blog, and I don’t comment back in the comments section of my post. I know that alot of people do this just to increase their comment count…….

    I’m sorry that another nurse blogger is being weird. I wouldn’t even worry about it. If I worried about all the shit I got over the years on my blog I would have long quit by now. I’ve lost a job, been stalked, been hacked, been called a bad mom, and have had outright online wars with people over my blog. who cares? I surely don’t, because it’s MY blog.

    Keep your head up, and keep writing!!!

  • Awesome Mom
    Awesome Mom

    June 18, 2007 at 7:29 pm

    Don’t let this get you down!!!

  • geena

    June 18, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    If you would have cashed in your chips over *this* I would have had to take a drive over to poke some sense into you!!

    I don’t think any of us could have gotten a point in edgewise. Some people read what they want to read and nothing else.

  • Rob

    June 18, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    I was disturbed by the whole thing as well. Things are complex, to be sure, but personal attacks have no place. I have heard that the overall situation is quite complicated, but I can’t go for personal attacks. They do nothing but stir up more trouble and decrease your own credibility. It is sorry when we get into mud-slinging in the blogging world as well. It is just more evidence of what we know of human nature.

  • Judy

    June 18, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Hang in there Kim! More of us out here love you than not. You’ve been in my prayers, I know it’s been a tough year for you. I don’t expect a direct answer. After all, you have a life just like me, only busier.

  • Nurse K
    Nurse K

    June 18, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Banning Nurse Kim for that blog post is like banning flowers and ice cream from heaven on the ‘WTF scale.’ A legit 8/10 on the WTF scale, if you will.

    If anyone is really bored and wants to read about this and how it all went down, you can read my summary post here. Judge for yourself. Yeah, I called her a dickhead for being a dickhead (she blamed her firing from healthcare on “diversity” for crapsakes rather than her quite-obvious pattern of attacks against everyone and everything, which I suspected was the real reason), but everything else was just an analysis of what she wrote.

  • girlvet

    June 18, 2007 at 8:36 pm

    Eliminating the link is the best thing you and everybody else can do in this situation.

  • Julie

    June 18, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    Having experienced strange reactions to things I have written on my blog try not to take it personally Kim. There are some very odd people out there. Keep up the good work!

  • greeniern

    June 19, 2007 at 3:20 am

    I don’t know what is going on, but for those who can’t play nice, there is always the “x” in the upper right hand corner of the page. I would be very dismayed if you stopped blogging. Please don’t.


  • Mother Jones RN
    Mother Jones RN

    June 19, 2007 at 5:24 am

    Don’t let anyone take something away from you that you love to do. There are too many people in this world who are out to bring down good people.

    Keep on blogging. My world wouldn’t be the same without you!


  • MonkeyGirl

    June 19, 2007 at 7:57 am

    You’re very important to us, Kim. We need you.

  • Annemiek

    June 19, 2007 at 8:30 am

    I don’t know what’s going on, guess I’ve been out of the loop, but I have always very much enjoyed reading your posts, even though I seldom leave comments. Please continue! Although I can’t imagine how you find the time for all those well written posts!

  • enrico

    June 19, 2007 at 8:52 am

    Kim, I have no idea (for sure) what this refers to, what firestorm must have been brewing in the nursing blogosphere (then again, I’m woefully behind in my reading), but there is no army of bloggers–much less any one blogger–that should hold sway to even consider you to stop doing what you love.

    If we are referring to the “hot mess of crazy” person, yes, I am familiar with some of what’s gone on, and there’s a nice supply of haldol (and perhaps a long course of metronidazole, as per Scalpel) for the likes of her. If this is the impetus for this post then, as we say in Spanish, con más ganas (“even moreso”, with emphasis) should you keep on keepin’ on. Cheers and beers.

  • Nickie

    June 19, 2007 at 9:08 am

    Please don’t stop. I know what it’s like having everyone (at least it feels like everyone) come down on you. I once had over one hundred blind people say horrible things about a local newspaper article I’d written because they missed the point and didn’t consider the context. It hurts when the community you’d like to feel at home in is the one which is causing such distress. I promise the pain will heal. You’ve had a tough year, but I’ve read enough from you to know you’ll make it through.

    Sending virtual hugs. Know that you’re in my prayers.

  • Margaret

    June 19, 2007 at 10:13 am

    Dear Kim,
    I like your blog because you write mostly about nursing. It is the reason I read your blog. I don’t read many as most have too tedious a trail of ‘he said’ ‘she said’ references. If I want watercooler gossip and slander, I can find that close to my desk. Please don’t stop blogging, and please don’t fall into that pit of stupidy where every blog entry is about what somebody else wrote.
    Keep up the good writing and ignore all other references.

  • La Bellota, SN
    La Bellota, SN

    June 19, 2007 at 11:31 am

    You know what I have discovered. There are trolls everywhere. It is upsetting. No doubt. Just don’t feed it and usually they will go away….and not too soon.

    If it takes you away…then they win.

  • TC

    June 19, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    Listen, Sista-you better not quit. You’re like my blogging preceptor! I haven’t got time for any of that flaming crap. Keep up the good work.

  • Self Help Zone
    Self Help Zone

    June 21, 2007 at 6:18 am

    Hi Kim,

    I came across to this post from Julie’s blog…its very sad to know what you have gone through all these days… anyway its your personal blog and you are going to write what you want to…its up to them who want to read or stay. Just keep going.

About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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