Joe doesn’t know it yet, but he is on a date with…
Anne Jamison, RN, of the Super Secret Assessment Squad!
Secretly and with deft precision, she feels for enlarged lymph nodes while dancing with her target.
Audaciously, she audits his auditory acumen by whispering in his ear.
Coordination, impaired, manifested by an inability to dance secondary to klutzemia and exacerbated by ETOH intoxication.
Recommendation: no second date.
Ahhhhh….the statistics test has been uploaded. The literary narrative has been finalized and sent to my professor in Wisconsin.
I can breathe. Finally.
Actually, I was breathing pretty heavily earlier this week. With all due respect to my husband, here is a pic of yours truly with the cause of last Tuesday’s hyperventilation.
That’s Jeff Scott Soto on the right, just in case you were wondering who was who. You know, I’d look a hell of a lot better if I had Photoshop. My image correction software just doesn’t cut it.
I am appalled at a certain HMO whose slogan rhymes with “Drive”.
Let me put it this way.
In my ER, if you come in with pain in your calf with redness and heat, a doppler study is done to determine if a deep vein thrombosis (DVT) is present. If you complain that your other calf is also sore, we will do a doppler study of that leg to make sure you don’t have bilateral DVTs.
In my ER, if you present with bilateral calf pain, redness and heat and you happen to mention you had burning in your chest that morning and jaw pain the night before, you get all of the above and (a) an EKG, (b) a big ass IV in your left antecubital space for the contrast you will get when you go for the (c) CT scan of your chest to rule out pulmonary embolism.
In my ER, if you present with all this and you are a status/post trauma patient of four-and-a-half-months with bilateral fused ankles, a cast on one leg and a halo on the other leg with explicit instructions to keep your legs elevated since the accident until you began weight bearing two weeks ago, you would be admitted for observation.
Take the same patient with the same chief complaint and let’s see how one particular HMO facility decided to handle the case.
Well, they did a doppler study of one leg, despite the presence of pain in both. What do you know? There’s a DVT there!
Then, they gave an anticoagulant and sent the patient home.
No doppler on the second leg. No EKG. No CT of the chest despite the presence of transient chest burning and jaw pains earlier in the day.
You see, if you have a simple DVT, you can take oral anticoagulants and follow up as an outpatient with your doctor.
But…the patient didn’t have a simple DVT. The patient had bilateral DVTs.
That wasn’t all she had.
How did the patient finally get the correct diagnosis? She was taken by ambulance late last night to a decent facility; one that was not affiliated with the HMO.
She had chest burning, shortness of breath and bilateral leg pain.
She was throwing pulmonary embolisms.
This facility gave a damn. This facility did not brush off her complaints. This facility did the tests. This facility made the diagnosis. And this facility will treat her appropriately.
Just like they did last May.
You know that HMO, the one that has the slogan beginning with “Be Well….”? They should change it to “Go to Hell…” because that is how they treat their members.
Yeah, pardon the language, but I’m pissed.
This patient nearly died last May. What the hell was “Brand X ” HMO thinking when they saw this constellation of symptoms?
“Let’s finish the job?”
Health maintainence, my derriere.