This photo would never pass muster in today’s hospital world!
Look at that fan precariously balanced on a platform with the cord hanging down – safety hazard!
The nurse on the right is discussing a case in the waiting room – HIPAA violation!
I actually worked in an ER that had a full bank of vending machines right outside the waiting room – when waits get over six hours, I guess people feel the need to have something. So much for NPO.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for….Jeopardy!
First category: “I’m Really Sick, You Know” for $200
- The answer: “I always run low so that is a fever for me!”
- The question: “What does a patient always say when you tell them their temperature is normal?”
Second category: “Doctor, It Hurts When I do ‘This’!” for $400
- The answer: “I have a high tolerance for pain, so this is really bad.”
- The question: “What does every single patient say when describing their pain?”
Same category, for $600:
- The answer: “I don’t want to get addicted.”
- The question: “Who is unclear on the concept of pain medication?”
Same category, for $800:
- The answer: “I’m allergic to Morphine, Stadol, Toradol, Dilaudid, Percocet, Percodan, Vicodin, Norco, Fentanyl, Oxycontin, Compazine, Zofran, Tigan, Protonix, Pepcid, Tagamet, Zantac, Reglan, Prilosec, Maalox, Donnatal, Bentyl and viscous xylocaine.”
- The question: “Who wants Demerol and Phenergan?”
Third category: “Forewarned is Forearmed”, for $1000
- The answer: “I want to know if Dr. Generous is working right now.”
- The question: “Who wants to know the chances of getting a pain shot before coming to the ER?”
Fourth category: “Where’s Cherry?”, for $400
- The answer: “I need to speak to a nurse now!”
- The question: “What part of ‘we don’t have advice nurses’ didn’t they understand?”
Final Jeopardy Category: “Believe it….or Not“
- The answer: “My wife had surgery two days ago and can’t sleep. I want you to call her primary doctor and have a couple of sleeping pills waiting for her at the front desk for me to pick up in fifteen minutes.”
- The question: “What is an actual request/demand made of ER personnel by telephone?”
Thanks for playing along!
I hope you wagered all your money on the final category because it really, honestly did happen.
The doctor says my jaw should come up off the floor within three days.