April 10, 2008, 1:11 pm

The Official 2008 Self-Indulgent Downer Post


Just what every doctor’s office needs: A cancer chart!

Looks like it’s the nurse’s job to keep up the tally. What does she do, mark an “X” for each diagnosis?

Well that’s cancer for ya. Ya either got it or ya don’t.



Two days ago I had a biopsy done on an area not usually accessible to the outside world.

Oh, I was cool as a cucumber. I took a gram of Tylenol, 600 mg of ibuprofen and 10 mg of Valium before I left the house. I wanted to be numb. I was.

I swear, Jeff Scott Soto himself could have walked in front of me and I’d have been like, “Duuuuuude, what’s uuuuup?”

I’m a pro at the doctor’s office. The best patient. Knowledgeable, not a hint of anxiety. No freaking out. Of course I was medicated to high heaven, but I’m still a “good” patient.



Now I’m home and I’m missing two days of work because it feels like I’ve been punched in the stomach, I’m on the verge of tears, I don’t want to get off the couch, my hair’s a mess, I’m wearing my old sweats, and I want a caramel sundae with a vente, extra hot, non-fat one-equal latte on the side but I’m stuck eating reduced fat Ritz crackers cuz that’s all that’s in the house because I don’t feel like shopping and Coldstone Creamery doesn’t deliver and neither does Starbucks.

I’m a real attractive gal!

Now I know how Rosanne Rosannadanna feels.


And in two weeks I’ll know.

If I got it or if I don’t.


  • Julie

    April 10, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Thinking of you Kim and fingers crossed. Hope you are feeling better soon – get one of that family of yours to wait on you!

  • Janet

    April 10, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Thinking of you with fingers crossed. Get in touch if there is anything I can do for you. I’m not that far from you here in the East Bay.

  • geena

    April 10, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Yeah, get those family members to get you some Starbucks!

    Now why the he** is it going to take TWO WEEKS? Are they trying to grow something on a petri dish for pete’s sake? I think it’s inhumane to make someone wait that long for such information.

    If I lived closer, I’d make a Coldstone delivery for ya.

    I hope it turns out okay. You are in my thoughts.

  • Mary

    April 10, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    You are in my thoughts at this difficult time. I hope you feel less pain soon, and obviously that you don’t have cancer.

  • Sandy

    April 10, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    (((Kim))) You have every right to feel as you do. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there, too, and was a heap, but I can’t believe you have to wait 2 weeks!
    I wish you lived closer as I’d bring you comfort food, too. I swear by ice cream for times like these… a little wine doesn’t hurt, either. 🙂
    Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Kim

    April 10, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    You know, I am not to far away from you, North Bay! You need anything you hollar….hang in there, thoughts are with you!

  • Rita Schwab

    April 10, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    We here in Cleveland are pretty far away, but maybe we could get Brady Quinn to make a quick trip back to SF to deliver that carmel sundae for you. That would be a reason to get off the couch, now wouldn’t it?? 🙂

    Thinking of you.


  • Mama Mia

    April 10, 2008 at 6:55 pm



  • John (hubby)

    April 10, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Kim is sound asleep with vanilla ice cream, carmel and chopped nuts nestled cozily in her tummy :)-

  • Kim

    April 11, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Hey! I’m wide awake! Oh, wait, it’s the next morning! : D

  • katie bee

    April 11, 2008 at 5:33 am

    Thinking of you, glad to hear you got the ice cream. I liked your column in ADVANCE this month – we even got it in the MD/DC/VA issue.

  • Ian Furst

    April 11, 2008 at 5:47 am

    thinking of you. good luck.

  • Bardiac

    April 11, 2008 at 6:32 am

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed for everything to turn out well. And for *$ to start making deliveries!

  • ednurseasauras

    April 11, 2008 at 7:39 am

    Sending positive energy your way….

  • SPKatz

    April 11, 2008 at 8:05 am

    That stinks, totally. It’s the worst to be sick, especially if you don’t have your OWN nurse. But I hope you are hanging in there and that your diagnosis and spirits are positive. The cybersphere is on your side. Not trying to be Pollyanna-ish about it, but some people find focusing on the issues (political, funding, overall karmic convergence) provides an energy outlet … on the other hand, there’s not much wrong with a little Ben & Jerry therapy either.

  • Sharon from NY

    April 11, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Kim- I know I haven’t posted in a long time- I haven’t even been able to read a few blogs… but I had a monet today and so saw this.
    I went through this quite a few years ago- The doctor told me I’d be “somewhat uncomfortable” ……!!!! Uh huh….. male docs should never try to tell us how we’re going to feel! Hang in there (two weeks for the results? ACK- I would have gone completely nuts by then- at least they got me the results in a couple of days)Hang in there. Sending lots of positive energy your way and a few prayers too!

  • Sharon from NY

    April 11, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Ummmm that would be had a MOMENT— not a “monet”!!

  • blondefabulous

    April 11, 2008 at 10:32 am

    I am thinking of you and sending the good karma your way.

  • spynster57

    April 11, 2008 at 11:13 am

    Oh you poor thing – now my stomach hurts too! I’m new to the whole blog scene but enjoy your site. Hope this all turns out to be a false alarm. I’ll be checking back regularly! At least the weekend in SF should be beautiful – I’m about 50 miles north! Take care…..

  • Adrienne Zurub

    April 11, 2008 at 1:37 pm


    My sweet half-century grrl!
    I’m thinking of you. I spend a few days away taking care of ‘thangs’ and I read this!

    Remember, sometimes as healthcare people we imagine the worst because WE KNOW TOO MUCH!

    That being said…Kim, please be well. I ‘heart’ you!

  • annemiek

    April 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Oh wow! I’ll be thinking of you!

  • whitecap nurse

    April 11, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Oh honey – the waiting is the hardest part. Hope you get good news soon.

  • AlisonH

    April 11, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Two freaking weeks?!? I’m so sorry! Can I bring you a–okay, (write that order down here lemmee print it out hang on there I’m coming), I’m a Mormon I don’t know a THING about coffee, but I can walk up to the Starbucks counter, point at the writing, and say, Gimmee THAT one. Fast.

  • Mel

    April 12, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    I hope that the wait doesn’t make you a nervous wreck and that you get good news at the end. You’re in my prayers.

  • SchoolNurseJack

    April 12, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    I would love to bring those lab/physician/radiologist team members some Starbucks to amp up their work pace and not make you wait two weeks to find out your results.
    Sending you all the “be well” vibes I can muster from my part of the blogosphere. You have a world of support waiting for you, Kim, either way.

  • may

    April 12, 2008 at 9:42 pm

    waiting sucks most of the times. i’m sending good thoughts…

  • emmy

    April 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Kim, You are in my prayers. The hardest part is always the waiting for the results. It never gets easier even when you expect the best. So I am expecting the best for you and praying that it is what you will get.

  • laurie edwards

    April 13, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    Sending good thoughts your way while you wait–hope the news is good and that the lattes and sundaes keep flowing!

  • medrecgal

    April 13, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Two weeks?? Are they freaking serious?? I’d be bouncing off the walls from stress!! Hopefully it’s nothing serious and things will get back to some semblance of normal soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Too bad I can’t send some Starbucks thru the wires!

  • Kelly

    April 13, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    Based on your story – and even though you did not specify the type of surgery – I can probably safely say that I have had this same “intrusion” (and the wait) that you are having…it was a long 2 weeks – but, soon discovered everything was “just fine”!
    Praying for you….

  • TC

    April 15, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Well, my old micro professor said that gin cured everything. If you’re not up to that, I hope the ice cream helped. If it’s any consolation, I just had my inner workings probed 2 weeks ago. Apparently I spilled all my secrets under anesthesia.

    Be well, I’m thinking of you,


  • unsinkablemb

    April 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Kim – I’m just catching up on my reading and got to this post today. 🙁 I’m thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way!

    Take care,


About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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