July 3, 2008, 8:47 pm

Partying Like It’s 1999 Through the Eyes of Nursing Diagnoses

Oh man, did I have a good time last weekend or what?

Two concerts in 24 hours – 345.62 miles apart, two flights and virtually no sleep for 36 hours.

I had a blast.

This is me with Mr. Jeff Scott Soto himself. What a thrill ! This was after the San Francisco concert last Friday. By the same time Saturday, we were all hanging out in the parking lot of the Reseda venue.

“We” meaning the band and about 40 fans.

Quite a let down to come back to work, let me tell you. My mind is still in LA, my body is obeying Joint Commission standards.

Well, at least I got to play “groupie” for a weekend, hung out with friends and got to meet the nicest gentleman in rock again this year. Jeff doesn’t have to tour. He plays one venue and we all fly out to see him!


Rock groupies connoisseurs encounter certain health issues as they travel to keep up with the artist (s) with whom they share a musical bond. Let’s look at some of these issues using nursing diagnoses. Any resemblance to me a particular person is coincidental.


1. Pain, acute, due to prolonged shaking of the booty resulting in bilateral hip discomfort, exacerbated by the fact that the only exercise the patient has had in 2 years is running to the bathroom.

2. Pain, acute, secondary to prolonged repetitive movement in stiletto heels resulting in metacarpal spasms. (Very) recent in-depth research has shown that this also occurs in people born in 1957 who wear old-lady-orthopedic Reeboks instead. The etiology of this age based phenomenon is not known.

3. Pain, acute, secondary to vibration of wooden bench upon which patient sits as the bass guitarists in the three (lousy) opening bands crank their amps to eleven.


4. Affect, giggly, due to Caipiroska intake x 2 followed by two margaritas that would have knocked Jimmy Buffett on his ass.

5. Coordination, impaired, manifested by urge to walk 20 feet to the ladies’ room in a straight line despite the ladies’ room being 10 feet away and around a corner. Co-dependent associates will assure the patient she looks “totally normal”.

6. Hearing, impaired, due to prolonged exposure to decibels that would deafen a 747, exacerbated by unwillingness to look like Herman Munster with fluorescent orange ear plugs sticking out sides of head.


7. Vertigo, exacerbated by two plane flights and two concerts in 24 hours, less than four hours of sleep and five hours of dancing.

8. Mental status, altered, due to getting a hug from favorite singer and manifested by inability to focus on mundane tasks 5 days post-exposure.

Finally, what advice to you give someone with Rockstar Syndrome?

Suck it up. Take your NSAID of choice, drink plenty of fluids and for pete’s sake don’t come into my ER!

I’m feeling just as lousy as you are!

Trust me.


  • News » about : metacarpal

    July 3, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    […] Quite a let down to come back to work, let me tell you. My mind is still in LA, m(Quote from : 「Partying Like It’s 1999 Through the Eyes of Nursing Diagnoses」) Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, a day when you get to celebrate freedom by setting things on […]

  • ernurse

    July 4, 2008 at 5:09 am

    Sounds like you had a blast!!

    Perhaps it is possible to ward off Rockstar Syndrome by drinking a few cans of Rockstar (http://www.rockstar69.com/)?

  • John S

    July 4, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Tinnitus? What tinnitus? Eh?

    Properly worn, those ear plugs do not stick out (but they do glow brightly in UV!)

    There’s nothing like working stage at a rock concert in front of 24 18″ bass drivers to motivate correct ear plug technique.

    Glad you had a good time.

  • Adrienne Zurub

    July 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    What a great partying role model you are to us all!

    I want to be just like you, Party Grrl!!

    It’s true, you only live once…in this particular body…so say the buddhists and others.


  • Karin RN

    July 5, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Sounds so much fun. The way you put it was so funny!

  • AlisonH

    July 5, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    Worth every moment of it, too, wasn’t it!

  • Candy

    July 5, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Love the picture — especially what that lovely man beside you is wearing! Is was so nice of him to wear something that’s ALMOST from your alma mater — a Bret Favre Green Bay Packer jersy!! That would get this ol’ Packer Backer heart going on its own, let alone the ETOH, music and dancing!! I recommend leaving the heels home next time…

  • NPs Save Lives

    July 7, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Glad you had a wonderful time! I haven’t been to a concert in a long time! Loved those Rock diagnoses!
    Keep it real sistah!

About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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