Another offering to the god of constipation.
Okay, fess up.
How many of you snuck Ex-Lax pieces out of your Grandmother’s medicine cabinet because it was “chocolate”?
Guess what happened…
No diarrhea. No abdominal cramping.
Well, something actually did happen.
I got caught!
And back in the early 60’s, pre-Dr. Spock days of child discipline, one did not sit one’s child in the corner for a “time out” or have a “discussion” with one’s preschooler.
If you get my drift.
Let’s just say that I never, ever did that again.
I was on my way back from Employee Health, where I had received my annual TB test. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that they had titres on file for my childhood diseases.
It’s a wonder I lived past the age of eight. I have had rubella, rubeola, varicella-zoster and mumps!
But I digress…
I needed these lab values to send to Green Bay to be on-file when I began my community nursing practicum. But there was no mumps titre.
Hence my early morning trip to our hospital laboratory at 0750.
The waiting room was packed. Solid.
I immediately started getting tense. I had to be home by 1030, and I had a 40 minute commute. I signed my name on a slip and placed it in the “to-be-called” box. I skrunched into a corner seat with a good view of The Today Show.
I was never going to get out in time.
I just knew it.
What the hell was the lab doing back there? Baking biscuits for breakfast?
One patient was called.
I noticed that Matt Lauer was growing some hair back.
And when the hell did Al Roker lose all that weight?
I don’t watch the Today show very often.
Another patient was called.
Good Housekeeping had an article on spicing up your sex life.
(Yawn.) Yeah, okay.
People had an article on Britney.
(Yawn and gag.)
Another patient was called.
Dammit! I have things to do today.
The local forecast calls for sun.
Of course it does.
This is July in the San Francisco Bay Area, you were expecting snow?
Ah…finally! This wait has been ludicrous.
Tourniquet goes on. Blood comes out.
The tech and I chat about the ever-impending Joint Commission visit.
Finally, I am free to head home.
The lab is so damn slow!
It was 0820. I had taken a seat, been registered and had my blood drawn within only 30 minutes.
In the time it takes Dominos to deliver, the lab had drawn four patients including myself.
They were hauling butt back there.
But it didn’t feel like that in the waiting room.
I felt like an idiot for being so tense and inwardly impatient.
But now I understand why someone will be upset that it took an hour-and-a-half for their abdominal evaluation in the ER. There are two reasons.
One, they don’t understand how the department works. We see the overview. They see themselves.
And two, time really does distort when you are waiting.
Now I get it.
An original post from www.emergiblog.com.