November 15, 2008, 2:50 pm

Melancholic Baby

Okay.

How come I didn’t know about this?

Yes, there is enough fat in a Cinnabon to last you for a week and clog even the widest coronary artery.

Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have gone for a free one!

Kudos to Cinnabon for doing this, I don’t know of any other non-healthcare company who has ever given free goodies to nurses during Nurses Week.

I’m verklempt! Seriously.

In fact, to show my appreciation to Cinnabon, I’m going to have to purchase at least one of these each week.

Since I’m dieting, I won’t be able to eat it, but I shall buy one nonetheless and give it to my thinner colleages.

I do think it is funny they had to limit it to one roll per nurse! Geeze, it’s not like any of us would eat a dozen.

Or anything…..

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Editor’s note: I accidentally deleted my Obama post when I was deleting old drafts. After panicking for five minutes, I was able to recover it from my RSS feed (thank goodness for Google). Unfortunately, the comments section could not be recovered, which is a major bummer. Didn’t want anyone thinking I was censoring comments! : )

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Is it possible to be bored in an emergency department?

Yes.

It has nothing to do with how many patients you do or don’t see during a shift.

If you think about it, so much of ER is just rote repetition, unless an emergent situation shows itself.

IVs, blood draws, medicate, evaluate , EKG, re-medicate, re-evaluate, CXR, re-medicate, re-evaluate, Normal Saline, re-medicate, re-evaluate, CT, re-medicate, re-evaluate…

You get the picture.

I’m not burnt so much as a I am bored.

And restless.

I’d rather write, concentrate on school, do a million other things than work. For every two night shifts I work it takes four days to recover back to a normal schedule.

If I feel like this working in a decent ER with great co-workers and having most of the last few weeks off, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel like when I get back to my regular schedule at the end of December.

When you start getting depressed because you have to work the day before your shift, something is wrong.

I’ve been here before.

But unlike before, I am not going to make any knee-jerk changes until I have a chance to evaluate all options available to me.

Do I need to move on? To what? To where?

Sigh.

*****

So I do what I always do and that is focus on my patients.

Yes, the tasks are routine but the patients are not.

Every patient is a new and different experience, even though their chief complaints may be similar.

The ER may be routine for me.

It’s far from routine for my patients.

And in the long run, it’s not about me, it’s about them.

*****

I just wish I could shake off this melancholia.

It’ll pass.

It always has.

5 Comments

  • whitecap nurse
    whitecap nurse

    November 15, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    Hmm. – you could try wearing a cap to work! That will at least be a conversation starter. Or, just look for small ways to improve your own performance. There is always something we could do better. Of course, what you really need is a good save but those are rare.


  • Braden
    Braden

    November 16, 2008 at 5:25 am

    If you read my blog, you wouldn’t have missed out. I’m just saying.


  • Strong One
    Strong One

    November 16, 2008 at 6:16 am

    “But unlike before, I am not going to make any knee-jerk changes until I have a chance to evaluate all options available to me.” –
    A great action to live by.
    Best of luck with your challenging time.


  • Maureen
    Maureen

    November 16, 2008 at 10:10 am

    First off, I too congratulate Cinnabon for recognizing the hard work that goes into nursing and rewarding it. I am not a nurse, but I am a chronically ill person, who deals with nurses on a regular basis.

    Let me say that when I am in the ER, you make all the difference in the world to me. You may not realize it, because I am in pain and scared and frustrated, but every little kindness you show me is appreciated. I try very hard to remember that when I am in the situation, and to express my thanks to the nurses, but please know it in your heart. I don’t know if that will help your current state of mind or not, but we need you.

    There are so many bad nurses, doctors, techs, etc. . . that we need the good ones, like you, who actually realize that the patient matters. What is routine for you isn’t for us, and your kindness, reassurance and just friendliness make everything seem a little less awful.

    Thank you for the work you do, I know you are overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated. It isn’t fair. Thanks for caring enough to do it anyway!

    Maureen


  • Bo
    Bo

    November 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Um…Cinnabon. I love your blog. And I can totally relate about the melancholia. Sometimes I get that and I, too, just have to wait till it passes—it’s no fun. It always makes me feel like I should be wearing a flowing white dress and running down a storm-tossed beach breathlessly yelling for Heathcliff. (But I don’t have a flowing white dress and I live near an Interstate, not a storm-tossed beach…ack..)


About Me

My name is Kim, and I'm a nurse in the San Francisco Bay area. I've been a nurse for 33 years; I graduated in 1978 with my ADN. My experience is predominately Emergency and Critical Care, and I have also worked in Psychiatry and Pediatrics. I made the decision to be a nurse back in 1966 at the age of nine...

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