I’m sure some women have issues during menopause, but Benzedrine?
Apathy? Psychomotor retardation?
Sounds like me after four night shifts in a row.
And I thought all I’d have to worry about are hot flashes…or in the current PC vernacular, power surges.
Puberty isn’t treated like a disease, but apparently menopause was looked upon as a psychosis! Was it ever listed in the DSM?
Were all the women of the 1950s hyped up on bennies?
OMG – read the fine print – they actually talk about using Benzedrine with electric shock therapy.
We most certainly have come a long way, baby!
Sometimes I think I’m my own worst enemy.
I feel guilty for being angry at a patient’s behavior, shocked by an intensity of rage that is way out of proportion to what they have done.
After all, it isn’t personal; their behavior is a component of their disease.
Or so I tell myself one month (and one post) after the fact.
I feel guilty for tearing up as a patient miscarries.
A week later she would have been far enough along to go to L&D.
The sadness stays with me the entire shift and I cry as I turn out of the parking lot that morning.
I kick myself for not being able to detach; am I not a professional?
I feel guilty for being on edge with co-workers.
Who are only being themselves, but my perception is that of too much, too loud and too intrusive.
God only knows how I am coming across to them.
When did I become a walking raw nerve?
This isn’t burnout.
When you are burnt out you are apathetic.
I’m almost the opposite of apathetic; everything is very, very acute.
All I know is that this isn’t me.
And I don’t like it.
And I feel guilty for feeling this way.
Why is it so easy to cut other people some slack,
And virtually impossible to do the same for myself?